Monday, December 17, 2012

Financials, Growing up, Life

I'm 27-years-old. Kind of crazy to think about. There are so many things these days that are weighing on my mind, stressing me out... about what I want in life/where I should be.

There's so much I want and it wars with what I think I should have. I should have more money saved. I should have more of a dent in the repayment of my loans (school&car). I should have my brakes replaed. I should have my car cleaned/get the junk out of it. I should have a clean room. I should have a furnished apartment.

I want more/expensive clothes. I want to go on a vacation. I want to travel places. I want to give my loved ones expensive gifts. I want to get fun/classy things for the apartment. I want to go out to fancy restaurants.

See the disconnect/difficulty here?

I am in the proces of creating a budget for myself and this is the first time I've really sat down and LOOKED at my spending. However, it cannot go into effect until after Christmas and there'll be a chunk immediately taken out for my brakes/excise tax so it really won't start until the end of January/February 2013. The trick is... like my weightloss... I have to stick to it.

I think the biggest reason behind this stress is the fact that I am 27. That is only 3 years away from 30. In my daydreamings about my life as an adult 30 was the time I'd have it all together (35 at the latest). I wanted to have a career, a nice place, a serious boyfriend/fiance, and maybe even a child (or a pet).

I don't have a career. I share an ok apartment with my best friend. My boyfriend, while we've been together a long time now, is not serious and I don't think he ever will be (read fiance). I also do not have a child/pet (nor do I think I'm ready for that yet.) However, I would like to be with someone for at least 2 years before thinking about marriage or a child. If we did get married after 2 years (would be like 3 by then) I'd want to experience marriage for at least 2 years to see if it would work. That's 5-6 years to have a settled relationship/marriage before a child would come along. I'm already 31 at this point. So the longer it takes me to set my financials in order the longer it will be before I can settle down. Also, how am I supposed to meet a guy that can be serious with me while I'm in love with my not-so-serious boyfriend of now?

We had a conversation along these lines in February 2012.... we actually broke up because he was adamant he did not want marriage or children. Come March/April he told me that was not true. Just what every girl wants to hear right? It's now December and ... while things are better in our relationship... they don't seem to have any future happenings. Frankly, he hasn't even made any forward progress in things he'd always stated he wanted (getting a place with HIS bestfriend.) He has my same problem with saving money... only he has half the bills.

Resolutions for 2013 and the rest of my life.... get serious about my finances, weightloss, and what I want for my life. I'm starting early on this (at least the weightloss and thinking about what I want for the rest of my life).


alisaVerde said...

Girllllllll, I could not agree with you more! I'm 27 and clueless. Stay focused. I'm wishing us both a lot of progress and clarity of purpose in the new year! xo

LaDonna said...

Hey Alisa, thanks for your comment :-) Here's to great progress in 2013!